3 Tips To Stop Worrying About What They Think
We have all been there. You have this big idea or dream. It excites you and you think you could pull it off, but in the back of your mind, you are worried about what others would think and it paralyzes you from taking the next step.
Or maybe you have encountered a social situation where you get the vibe that something is off and immediately you KNOW why and what they are thinking, despite the fact that no one said so.
Sound familiar?
If so, you my friend, are practicing a thinking style called mind reading. Without their saying so you KNOW what others are thinking about you, usually assuming their thoughts or motives are negative.
Don’t get me wrong, mind reading has its perks. Sometimes, your assumptions are right on target and this way of thinking helps you anticipate someone’s needs or figure out what to do next.
However, this thought style can cause unnecessary hurt feelings, damage relationships, and stop you from reaching your goals.
The good news is, it starts and stops with YOU. You are in charge of your thoughts and behaviors. You get to choose how to interpret those situations, how to handle them, and how much weight to give other people’s opinions
Here are some tricks to change this unhealthy thinking style.
Look at the facts and only the facts. Ask yourself, “ What evidence do I have that my thought about this is true?” and “What evidence do I have that this thought is not true?” Focus on the facts and not just your feelings. Feelings are not facts.
What do YOU think of you or what you are doing? You can’t please everyone all the time. It is impossible. Quite frankly, it does you no good. Instead of focusing on external approval and validation, turn inward. Are your actions and intentions in alignment with who you are and want to be? That is what truly matters.
Ask. When you mind read, you are operating on assumptions and you know what they say about assuming... Instead, be direct and ask them if what you think is true.
If you have a habit of mind reading, it is okay. Recognizing that it is a problem is the first step toward change. You can change your thoughts to healthier more helpful ones. All it takes is awareness, practice, and the courage to change.
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