How To Fix The Perfectionist Mindset Trap
Do these thoughts sound familiar to you?
“I made a mistake, I am such a failure.”
“If I am not the best, there is no point.”
“If you aren’t going to do it right, why do it at all?”
If so, you have fallen into the perfectionist mindset trap.
The way we think impacts everything from our emotions to our behaviors to the goals we reach. The perfectionist mindset is when you think of things in black or white terms. Situations are either good or bad, right or wrong. You have to be perfect or you think you are a failure.
This type of thinking can lead to depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It can also cause you to procrastinate, give up too quickly, or not even try something in the first place. Worst of all, it is completely unrealistic and simply is not true!
Here are some ways to change the perfectionist mindset.
Look at the whole picture.
Don’t just focus on the one thing that didn’t go your way, the one flaw, the one mistake. Pull back and focus on the whole picture. Find what went well, where you succeeded, and what strengths you have. This does not mean stick your head in the sand and pretend everything is 100% fantastic. This means look at the whole picture and acknowledge the good AND the bad. This makes your outlook more balanced.
Focus on Progress, not Perfection.
There is nothing more frustrating when you have a perfectionist mindset than learning something new. Rarely is someone perfect, let alone good at something, when they first try it. This frustration can cause you to want to give up easily, rather than tolerate the discomfort of not doing it perfectly. Or worse, may prevent you from trying it at all. To challenge that, you can shift your focus from perfection to progress. As long as you are practicing the new thing, you will eventually get better. You will progress. Eventually, you can progress so much that you are really good at it!
Embrace Failure.
Failure has an unfairly bad reputation. The fear of failure is one of the reasons people strive for the impossible goal of perfection. We mistakenly believe that perfection equals success. That is incorrect. Perfection is impossible and unattainable. Perfection doesn’t exist. When we set perfection as our goal instead of excellence, we always fall short and feel disappointed. Some of the most successful people I know operate with the mindset to fail fast and fail often. They embrace failure because they know that with each failure they are progressing, learning, and moving closer to their goals. They are moving toward excellence. When you embrace failure as a necessary component of success and excellence, the need for a perfectionist mindset disappears.
Adopting a new way of thinking is not always easy, but it is possible. Your thoughts are only practiced habits and with practice, you can move away from this mindset trap, closer to your goals, and feel happier and more fulfilled.
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