How To Have A Valentine’s Day That Doesn’t Totally Suck
It doesn’t matter if you are married, in a serious relationship, dating or single. Anyone can have a sucky Valentine’s Day. Whether it is because you are spending it alone or that your partner did not celebrate it like you want or because you think it’s a dumb commercialized holiday meant to get you to spend money, not everyone LOVES Valentine’s. Even if you don’t love it, it doesn’t have to suck. There are ways you can make the best of it and maybe even start to love it!
YOU decide what Valentine’s Day means.
Sure, in our culture we have been socialized to believe that Valentine’s Day should look a certain way.
Romantic.
Sexy.
Flowers.
Chocolate.
Fancy Dinner.
If you don’t have a partner or if your partner falls short, it can make you feel less than, disappointed or like you are missing out on something. You start analyzing what it means about you or your relationship. Who says that is the way it has to be? Make your own rules. You can make the day whatever you want it to be. It can be a day you celebrate YOU. It can be a day you go out of your way to show others that you love them. It can be a day you celebrate that love exists, period. Take back control and make the holiday your own, something you will look forward to celebrating.
Stop waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
If you want flowers, get them! You don’t have to wait for someone to do that for you. Allow yourself to enjoy and receive things you would like, even if it means getting it yourself. You want to feel loved? Show yourself love. You want to go out on a date? Go out to a fancy dinner or make a fancy meal at home and light some candles and enjoy. You do not need someone to do that for you. Celebrate yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Are you celebrating it and honoring it like it is?
Write yourself a love letter.
Seriously. When was the last time you thought about what you love about you? We don’t often think about ourselves that way. We are more likely to focus on our flaws and shortcomings. We would never do that to someone we love. We need to remind ourselves about how we are amazing. We need to love ourselves the way we love others, starting with what we tell our self about our self. Take the time to express to yourself what you love about you, your strengths, your beauty, anything you can think of. It will remind you how worthy you are without needing someone else to validate your worthiness for you.
Express you love to others.
Tell those you love that you love them. It does not have to be your romantic partner. It can be your kids, your parents or your friends. Go out of your way to do something nice for them that shows that you love them. Give them a call. Send them a gift. Do something thoughtful. Can’t think of someone to send a little love to? Look to your community. Volunteer. Send a treat to a neighbor. Take blankets to the homeless. Expressing love to others through words or kind acts can be so rewarding that whatever was sucky about Valentine’s Day pales in comparison to the joy and fulfillment you feel in your heart.
Communicate your needs.
Do NOT buy into the idea that if you have to tell someone that you need something it has less value than if they did it on their own. Most people can’t read your mind. It is unfair to expect people to KNOW what you want without you telling them and it makes it less likely that you will get what you want. It is the perfect recipe for you to be disappointed. There is a reason that communication is a fundamental building block to a successful relationship. If you ask, there is no guarantee that you will get it, but it increases your chances. And sometimes you have to ask more than once. We ALL have different ways that we express and feel loved. If Valentine’s Day is important to you and you would like to celebrate it a certain way with someone, tell them how you want to celebrate it.
Bottom line? Valentine’s Day does not have to suck. No matter what situation you are in, you can make the best of it. You can turn it into a holiday that you love.
How will you make Valentine’s Day suck less this year? Tell us in the comments!
