Overcoming Scarcity Mindset
“You owe $X to the IRS now, $X to the IRS quarterly from now on and $X to me,” my accountant informed me. The poor guy tried to break it to me gently.
Stunned I looked him in the eyes, blinked a few extra times, signed the paperwork, thanked him for his hard work and left. I like to think on the outside I looked calm, cool and collected, but on the inside I felt like I had been punched in the gut.
What my accountant didn’t know was that my husband and I had been saving up money and had finally gotten to the point where we were going to be able to make a move financially that would move us closer to our dreams. We were 2 months away from reaching our goal.
This new information would set us back.
As disappointed as I was, I dreaded making the call to my husband to tell him the news. He was so excited for our next steps and I knew this news would hit him hard. While I sat in my car, stalling and drowning myself in a pile of curse words, self pity and defeat, I looked up and saw the address on a building across the parking lot. Immediately, my mood changed.
I realized that what I was REALLY dealing with was an old friend I was all too familiar with, good old Mr. Scarcity Mindset.
Scarcity mindset is when you are so focused on lack, you fail to see the abundance. Scarcity mindset is not just about money. You can have a scarcity mindset around love, time, achievement, or anything that you feel you don’t have enough of or lack.
“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.” - Oprah
I see scarcity mindset often with my clients as well. Perhaps there was a time in your life that you were truly lacking something, if you are not careful, that mentality can stick with you even when your reality has changed.
For example, if your family struggled financially when you were growing up, you could become a millionaire and still fear that you don’t have enough money. Your circumstance changed, but your mindset did not catch up with reality.
Mr. Scarcity Mindset, is just trying to protect you from feeling that past pain again. The problem is his services are no longer needed and often cause unnecessary pain. The fear he creates can potentially limit your success. At the very least it prevents you from being able to enjoy your success.
I had been going to that accountant since I started my business over 10 years ago. For years, I would show up to his office and pray that I wouldn’t owe money for my taxes because I didn’t have the money to pay it. Financially, we were barely squeaking by. Starting a new business with a young family was hard and scary. The building across the parking lot had the numbers 1111, which is my good luck number. It brought a superstitious, comfort back then that things would be okay and they always were. My prayers were always answered.
Seeing those numbers on that building this time, reminded me how far I had come. I didn’t need to be scared any more. I could afford it now AND it signified that my business was successfully growing. In that moment my mindset shifted to how much I had in my life instead of how much I didn’t and I cried tears of gratitude and appreciation…TO OWE MONEY ON MY TAXES! It sounds absurd, but that is the power of your mindset and your thoughts.
Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t jumping and clicking my heels with joy, but I wasn’t sitting with despair anymore. I was sitting with gratitude and relief and more clarity about how to move forward. What is the point in growing and reaching our goals, if when we do we still feel like it is not enough or if we still live in fear? With that mindset nothing will ever be enough, no matter how much you work or how much you achieve. So then what is the point of doing any of it?
If you struggle with scarcity mindset, too, here is what you can do to overcome it.
Accept Your Reality.
Face what you are dealing with head on and with honesty. Identify what is not in your control and accept it for what it is. Fighting against what you can’t control only brings more suffering. Don’t exaggerate the situation you are in and don’t stick your head in the sand, either. If you are having a scarcity mindset about not being loved because you are single, don’t make it worse by making false and negative assumptions about why. Don’t deny you are feeling lonely and want to be in a realtionship. Turn toward what you are feeling with compassion and accept the reality that is in front of you.
(Read this blog to learn, “How To Give Yourself Grace.”)
Reframe Negative Thoughts.
If you struggle with scarcity mindset it can be easy for your mind to slip into a downward spiral when triggered. Your mind will flood with negative thoughts. Observe those thoughts without judgement. Notice what is happening and challenge your thinking. Is your situation truly as bad as you are feeling it is? Are you exaggerating? Are you assuming the worst? If so, stop. Look at the facts and the facts only. What does the actual evidence tell you?
(Read this blog to help reframe your negative thoughts, “4 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Are Thinking The Worst.”)
Pivot.
Come up with a new strategy. If you feel scarcity around love, find a new way to meet up and connect with people. If you feel scarcity about money, create a budget that helps you feel secure. If you feel scarcity around time, create a schedule that helps you have time for what you want to do. It’s is not that you don’t have enough, it is that you are'n’t using what you have in a way that works for you.
(Read these blogs for more ideas of how to pivot, “How to Stop Giving up on your BIG Goals” and “How To Get More Time In Your Day.”)
Gratitude.
Shift your focus to what you have.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” - Oprah
Create a daily practice of gratitude. If you have a scarcity mindset around money, think about all of the things you can afford, the food on your table, the roof over your head, the clothes on your back and find appreciation for it. If you feel scarcity around love, think about the family members that love you, the friends that reach out to you, the strangers that smile kindly at you and be thankful. If you struggle with scarcity mindset around achievement, think about all of the things you have been able to accomplish both big and small and don’t discount their importance and be grateful for what you were able to achieve..
Practice.
You didn’t develop a scarcity mindset overnight. It took repeating those thoughts over and over for a long time for them to stick. The same process will help you overcome scarcity mindset. Practice your new ways of thinking, gratitude and your new strategies over and over again. When you catch yourself slipping into scarcity mindset, redirect those thoughts back to a mindset of abundance and gratitude. Over time you will find yourself in the abundance mindset more often and you will feel all of the good feelings that go along with it. You will know in your heart that you have more than enough.
Where do you notice scarcity mindset come up for you? Share it in the comments!
