How to Keep it Together When the World is Falling Apart
Pandemics.
Politics.
and Racism.
Oh my!
I think I would take Dorthy’s lions and tigers and bears over 2020 any day.
2020 turned the world upside down for all of us. It felt like overnight, we were ripped from our daily norms, isolated, and bombarded with images of overcrowded hospitals, crying nurses, and people dying. Together, we endured a worldwide traumatic event. The world slipped into chaos and continued to spiral down as we added in racial tensions and political madness for good measure. We lost loved ones and our sense of safety and security. We were isolated from those we love physically and in many cases emotionally, as political and racial tensions escalated and we wondered how those we thought we knew could have such vastly different viewpoints.
The threat to our safety, whether from a non-mask wearing sneezer or from a person with opposing views, sent many of us into an emotional frenzy. And rightly so. If you are someone that is a trauma survivor, you may have felt it more than most. If you were already battling mental health issues, this may have made it even harder. The world seemed like it may be falling apart.
Yet, here we are, 2021, almost a year later. Still, we are unsure about when things will go back to normal, if ever. We are hoping, with bated breath, that with a vaccine out and the election over, there may be a light at the end of this dark tunnel of a year. Although we are not out of the woods yet, we have learned some things that can help us stay mentally and emotionally well as we embark on this new year, even with many unknowns ahead.
Know Your Limits.
Whether it is 24-hour news or a friend constantly calling you to vent, set boundaries for what you are willing to take on. When your heart starts racing and you feel that sick feeling in your belly, you know your stress response system is kicking in. Figure out what is causing it and decide for yourself when enough is enough. Limit yourself from these stress inducers. Set boundaries. Do something else. Occupy your time with something more constructive or relaxing.
Stick to a Healthy Routine.
There is comfort in routine. It provides a sense of safety even in the midst of chaos. Many people threw their routines out the window when put on lockdown. Bedtimes ceased to exist. Mealtimes were replaced with emotional eating all day. Work clothes and hygiene were replaced with messy buns and pajamas 24/7. It is no wonder people were wandering around the house aimlessly wondering what the heck they should be doing. It created a sense of uneasiness. People felt lost and a lack of purpose. Time felt like it was slipping away quickly and being wasted, while at the same time feeling like it dragged on forever like a perpetual Groundhog’s Day, keeping us disoriented and unsure of what day it was. Having a healthy routine helps you to feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment, even when there is not a whole lot to do. Establish a consistent sleep/wake schedule. Maintain your workout routine. Keep seeing your therapist. Shower and get dressed, even if you don’t have anywhere to go. Add things from this blog to your routine. It helps to restore your sense of safety, security, and wellbeing.
Connect with Others.
Yes, you are required to physically distance yourself but, it does not mean you have to emotionally distance yourself. Humans are wired to seek connection. It is comforting and soothing to know you are not alone. Emotional disconnection is extremely unhealthy for both your physical and emotional wellbeing. When the world feels like it is falling apart you need others to help you feel safe and at ease. Luckily, with technology, this is easier than ever before. Call your loved ones. Do online meetups. Join a virtual class. Make eye contact and conversation with others when you are out and about. Knowing you are not alone can help you find a sense of wellbeing even when the world feels like it is falling apart.
Calm Yourself.
When your sense of safety is threatened your nervous system is going to go haywire. It is common for people to want to fight, runaway, shut down, or freeze as a response to stress. The part of your brain that is in charge of rational thought and problem solving is hijacked by the part of the brain that is in charge of your survival. This is an automatic response. You can help calm and soothe yourself to get your rational brain back in charge. Simple things like exercise, deep diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation can help restore your sense of well being and get your problem-solving brain back in charge.
Mind Your Mind.
Things are bad enough without your overthinking brain taking over and losing control like a runaway train. It is easy to do in a time like this. You can cause yourself intense stress, anxiety, and depression by letting your thoughts get out of control. Be aware of the thoughts you are having. Identify them. Write them down. Challenge them. Are your thoughts based on facts? What evidence do you have that what you are thinking is true or untrue? Are your thoughts extreme or exaggerated? Are there other thoughts you could focus on that are more realistic and helpful? There is no need to make things worse than they already are by jumping to conclusions. Just thinking about your thinking can restore your sense of wellbeing.
Take Action.
Once you have calmed your nervous system and are thinking logically, you can decide what you will do. What can you control in this situation? Only your own actions, right? What can you do that will make you feel like you are doing your part to make things right? Do you need to donate your time or money to a cause? Write a letter to your representative? Join a support group? Have a conversation with someone? Educate yourself on a topic of concern? Taking control of what we can and doing our part to help out can help us feel a sense of control and provides us with a sense of well being. The feeling that we can actually make a difference in the chaos, even if it is seemingly small, can help us to feel like there is some order to the chaos.
Whatever 2021 brings, know that there are things you can do to keep it together, even if it continues to feel like the world is falling apart.
Tell us in the comments how you have kept it together so far!
