Depression is more than feelings of sadness. One of the most life-saving things we can do is educate ourselves about the many ways that depression presents itself. It is one of the most common and deadly mental illnesses and we need to be honest about what it looks like. If we limit our knowledge of symptoms to sadness, we risk misunderstanding, misdiagnosing, and not getting treatment when we see the signs in ourselves or loved ones.

Depression is sadness, but it is also…

• Feeling like a burden to others. Worry that you are bothering others. Thinking others are too busy. Thinking others have worse problems so you shouldn’t complain. This symptom of depression can feel very real and often stops people from getting the help they need or talking to others about what they feel. (If you feel this way, there are people out there that really care and are happy to have the opportunity to help, who do not think you are a burden. I am one of them. Reach out!)

• Inappropriate guilt. Feeling guilty about things that are not your fault or in your control. Feeling disproportionately bad for something you did or didn’t do.

• Unexplained aches and pains. Physical pain that there is no medical reason for.

• Difficulty with focus and concentration. Inability to complete tasks at work. Difficulty following a conversation. Unable to watch a movie or read a book because it takes too much focus.

• Difficulty making decisions. Trouble making big or small decisions. Struggling to decide what to do next. Difficulty deciding what to eat at a restaurant.

• Alcohol/drug use. Using alcohol and drugs to numb out and not feel the uncomfortable feelings that come with depression. Although, you may feel temporary relief those feelings of depression will return and often worse than before.

• Overworking. Overworking, overachieving, perfectionism and/or being consumed with an activity can be a form of numbing, trying not to think or feel the depressed feelings. Although some distraction is good, avoiding your feelings and problems does not fix them and in the long run, can make things worse.

• Isolating. Cutting off your friends. Not responding to texts. Staying locked away in your room, away from your family. Feeling lonely, but lacking the emotional bandwidth to be around others. Avoiding others to not bother them. Isolation is one of the most common symptoms that shows up in therapy. It is also one of the behaviors that really feeds depression.

• Irritable/ Angry feelings and behavior. Your anger and irritability may make you think you are a jerk. It may be deeper than that. Lashing out is often a symptom of emotional pain, quite often depression. Sometimes, anger feels like a safer emotion than sadness. It feels less vulnerable. Many professionals believe anger is really a defense mechanism to protect yourself from the more vulnerable feelings of hurt and sadness.

• Not enjoying things you used to. Depression can take a hit on your ability to feel pleasure. Things that you used to enjoy may not seem as appealing or enjoyable anymore.

• Fatigue. Feeling tired all the time, no matter how much sleep you get. Thinking you are lazy. No or low energy. Feeling drained.

• Lack of motivation. Like fatigue, depression can also zap your motivation. It may be difficult to do your homework, get up and work out, get out of bed or do self care tasks like showering or brushing your teeth.

• Feeling hopeless. Thinking nothing will change and that things will feel bad forever. Feeling like you have tried everything and nothing worked. Feeling or thinking you are broken or damaged goods and are destined to feel this way.

• Feeling worthless. Feelings of not being good enough, being insignificant, invisible, and not worthy of love, belonging, or acceptance.

• Negative Thinking. Being pessimistic, Debbie-Downer, cynical, and thinking the worst. Having a difficult time seeing the good or positive aspects in things.

• Feeling Numb. No feelings good or bad. You may feel like you are in a bubble or disconnected from yourself like you are watching life from behind glass or things aren’t real.

• Over or under-eating. Increase or decrease in appetite. Gaining or losing weight. Eating to numb or soothe and not feel.

• Sleeping too much or insomnia. Change in your sleeping pattern. Increase or decrease in sleep. Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.

• Hallucinations/ Delusions. Hearing voices, having strange ideas like thinking you can hear other people’s thoughts or that people are out to get you.

Depression is common and it is a serious mental illness. When not treated properly, it can lead to suicide. Do not be fooled by someone’s smile, fun-loving, successful, appearance. Many times those suffering the most, hide it the best. Many people with depression know the exhaustion of wearing a mask of a smile at work and around their friends only to cry themselves to sleep and not want to get out of bed in the morning Check on your strong friends. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms consult a mental health professional to get an assessment to determine the correct diagnosis. You matter. You deserve help. Depression is treatable. Help is available. It can get better.